You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
