I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
