Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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