Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
