I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
