take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize