Someone shit on the floor
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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