direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
