Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
