you would pick up someone in the library
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
