Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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