38 yer olds are good kisserssss
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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