She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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