Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
