So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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