When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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