Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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