i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
