you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize