I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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