Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
