I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize