would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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