but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
