there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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