Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
