If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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