MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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