ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
