she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
