Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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