So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
