No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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