She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
then he tried to convert me to islam
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
