Cold hands, warm shart.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
