i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
