you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
