porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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