Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Found your dick twin last night
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
