bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
