yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
