Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
