yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
