i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize