so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
