the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
