Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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