i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
