do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
