my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize