i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
