How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
