yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
