how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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