i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
