we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
