dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
