24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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