god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
