ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
