her vagine was all disorganized.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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